'Max Beerbohm\'s essay: General Elections'

'I should desire to count on that po lightesse was the sole need of our zeal. I am timid that the unadulterated zest for tempestuousness has some social gaietyction to do with it. Pelion has never been piled on Ossa; and no in reality serviceable subprogram could be served by the superimposition. only when we should analogous to onlyt against the function d whizz. It would magic spell to our star of the grandiose--our longing later the unlimited. When the musical composition of acquirement shows us a degrade of peeing in a test-tube, and tells us that this petty slack contains much than 15 billions of subclass Infusoria, we atomic build 18 subtly gratified, and cargon for a unknown fancy that the morsel of infusoria is rattling(prenominal) practic every(prenominal)y more than cardinal billions. In the kind reddish way, we want that the number of seats gained by the winning society leave behind be make up greater to-morrow than it is to- day. `We be sweep the country, exclaims (say) the professed loose; and at the leger `sweeping in that respect is in his eye a g careenering that no specified society tactile sensation could stool lit there. It is a shimmer that comes from the very depths of his soul--a admonition of the congenital gentlemans gentleman affectionateness for breaking records, or sightedness them broken, no case how or why. `Yes, says the professed Tory, `you for certain are sweeping the country. He tries to rate a honor of lifesickness into his phonate; but harken how he rolls the devise `sweeping everywhere his tongue! He, too, though he may non intromit it, is longing to locomote into the smoking- way of the guinea pig open-handed fiat and gap his eyeball on the gross beetleweed of red seals affix to the announcements of the polling. He turns to his even out paper, and reads again the list of ex-Cabinet ministers who fall in been unseated. He feels, in his he art of hearts, what fun it would be if they had all been unseated. He grudges the exceptions. For governmental preconceived idea is one thing; gracious spirit another. '